My House, My Thoughts
"Look at what our kids ARE accomplishing!"
By Vickie Fetsko - July 2001 ©
After talking with so many doctors, therapists and agencies, I found that it was very easy for me to get emotionally "stuck". I kept thinking of all the things my son, Jason now 2 ½ years old, can’t do. At times I even wondered if my "preservation" (A behavioral problem where the child/adult gets stuck and repeats an idea, thought, emotion, or movement. A behavior common in PWS.) could be genetic and I have passed this onto my son regardless of the Prader-Willi Syndrome diagnosis! Fortunately the more I read and the more I listened to other parents, I was able to focus on the excitement in their voices telling me of various accomplishments. Then for me, those times of getting "stuck" became few and far between. I’m not kidding myself though, at times I will still compare my children, special needs or not, in varying degrees with other children and their development. But the next time you are watching your child play and start thinking "he/she should be doing . . . .", shut your eyes, open, take another look, smile. See what your child HAS accomplished?
Here is a comical example of "taking another look" at a situation. During dinner one night as I was in the kitchen fixing my plate and hoping to have at least a lukewarm dinner, I hear: "Mom, Jason ate all his food and he’s trying to get more off my plate". I turn the corner just in time to see Jason with his toddler spoon trying to scoop food off his 6 year old brother, Jonathan’s plate. Jon has his right hand and arm up in a defensive move to keep Jason from getting to his target. As I get closer, Jason proceeds to hit Jon on the top of his head with his spoon. Jon’s hand goes straight to his head while simultaneously announcing his complaint to me. At this time, Jason makes his move, scoops up some food and in a split second it’s in his mouth.
-- Shut my eyes, open, take another look, smile --
Problem Solving - I want his food, how can I get it?
Cause & Effect - What do I need to do to get Jon to move his arm before mom gets here?
Fine Motor & Gross Motor Development - He had to hold his spoon tight enough to hit with and get his arm high enough to hit the top of his brother’s head.
GOAL ACCOMPLISHED!
Now of course, he got in trouble for two unacceptable behaviors: taking off someone’s plate and hitting his brother. But you know what, I was so tickled by all that he accomplished with my "second look" that my cold dinner tasted a little better and was enjoyed that day.